1. Call, text, or email one friend or family member a day. Staying in touch has never been easier, but it’s all too easy to only connect with the people we see at work or the ones who just won’t stop showing up in our Facebook feed. Reach out a little further than that to stay connected with the friends and family members you value. It only takes a few minutes to invest in a relationship, with the result that you have a strong network of people around you, both near and far.
2. Write a thank you note every week. This can be an exercise solely for you: write a thank-you note to someone who’s passed on but impacted your life, and tell them all the things you wish you could say in person. Or write a note of thanks to someone who is or was part of your life and send it to that person.
3. End your night with a word of thanks or encouragement. This is the kind of simple habit that can make or break a lifelong relationship . You don’t have to be elaborate: “I love being with you,” or “Thanks for being there for me,” sends the right message. If you’re not in a relationship, give yourself a word of thanks or encouragement.
4. Pause before you answer or respond to people. Train yourself to listen well, by giving yourself time to think up your response in that pause, not while the other person is talking. This not only shows that you value what the other person is saying (which communicates acceptance and respect) but it also gives you time to weigh your attitude and words. In a high-tension situation or stressful conversation, a simple five-second pause might be what keeps you from blowing up and ruining a relationship.
5. Give yourself a time out. Life happens. You’re going to hit points when you feel stressed, frustrated, angry, or impatient. That’s okay, because if you can give yourself a time-out then you can keep things in perspective. You can’t expect yourself to be a non-emotional robot, but you can train yourself to take a five-minute break from humanity when things are getting to you. Walk around the block, lock yourself in the bathroom, take a quick drive with the windows down and the music blaring. Find the “time-out chair” that works for you, and use it.